joysofwomanhood

Holidays are supposed to be a time of love, hope, and peace. They should be about family and togetherness. Instead, my family seems to run the opposite direction. For example: Thanksgiving is always at my grandma’s house. All the aunts and uncles and cousins are there, so it gets to be a really full house. And now that a lot of the cousins are married with kids of their own, we have four generations of people there. A few weeks before Thanksgiving, my one aunt, we’ll call her V, called Grandma and said that she hated washing dishes, so we should use paper plates this year. My other aunt, we’ll call her B, heard about this and was NOT happy. We have always used the nice china, and that is the way it should always be. She doesn’t mind doing the dishes afterward, and usually enough people pitch in to make it a fast job. There apparently was a long “discussion” about this, and Aunt V decided that she simply wasn’t going to come to Thanksgiving this year. Because of plates! How super sad. I simply don’t understand.

Example #2: That first one was my mom’s side of the family. This one comes from my dad’s side. As some background, my aunts on my dad’s side are quite manipulative. They also really don’t like my dad, and therefore none of his kids. On my mom’s side, at least they come right out and say what they think. On my dad’s side, they are the queens of the sly insult. You know the kind, where you think you are getting a compliment, and then WHAM! Like, “Wow, these cookies are really good. It’s hard to believe that you are the one that made them.” Ok, that wasn’t the best example, but only because I’m not well-practiced at this stuff like they are! And you get the idea. Anyway, I received a Christmas card from one of these aunts yesterday. It was a pretty generic card, and stuck inside was a post-it. It had a message written on it that was supposed to look handwritten but was obviously copied. It said something along the lines of, “Don’t spend all your hard-earned cash on Christmas, make sure to save some for our family reunion weekend this summer!” So, I saw that and I was thinking, classy, use your Christmas cards to advertise the reunion. Whatever works. I guess you have to get the word out somehow, right? And then I read what she really did handwrite in the card. It said, “Em, don’t forget that you promised to help me with the reunion. I’m really counting on you! xxxoooxxx”

Huh? Ok, first of all, this is the first Christmas card I have received from her - ever. It could be that previously she just didn’t have my address and that she just included me in the cards she would send to my parent’s house. That’s fine with me, but this was just weird. I also haven’t spoken to her since I was pregnant, so maybe a little over 1 ½ to 2 years ago? At that point she didn’t know she would be in charge of a reunion this coming summer. Which means that one of two things happened. Either #1: She talked to one of my sisters at some point and they promised they would help, and she is just remembering the wrong sister, or #2: She is outright lying to try to guilt me into helping her, hoping that I would not remember that we have never, ever talked about this. Knowing this aunt, I am leaning toward the second one, and I am really irritated that she is using my Christmas card as an excuse to guilt me into doing something I don’t want to do. Very nice.

Why is it that holidays do this to people? Ugh. So now I am done complaining, and I am going to encourage you to enjoy this season for what it is meant to be; a time of giving and joy and love. Don’t use it for your own personal agendas! And with that, I am officially climbing off my soapbox.

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